Extreme Close Up Chapter 20

Ally stared back at him, then nodded jerkily.
“I left because of you and Carter,” he said harshly, his tanned cheekbones darkening. “I left because I walked in on you and Carter about to have sex in your dorm room. Because the next day Carter told me you and he were suddenly more than friends. And I couldn’t stand staying and watching the two of you together.”
She gaped at him, her mind whirling. What could he possibly mean by that? She swallowed nervously, licked her dry lips, and stared searchingly into the depths of his eyes.
“We didn’t have sex that night.” God, why did she say that?
“You didn’t?”
She shook her head. “What are you saying, Jack?”
“Too damn much.” He closed his eyes.
Her insides quivered. “Are you saying you were ...jealous?”
Silence. She sucked in a breath. Then ...“Yeah.”
“There’s different kinds of jealous,” she said slowly, felt his fingers tighten on hers.
He gave a low groan. “I was jealous of Carter, Ally. I was starting to have feelings for you, too...I didn’t want to leave you and it was messing me up. Then Carter tells me you two are going out. I could not face that. I just couldn’t. I know it was chicken shit, but I just couldn’t stay around and watch you two together. So I left.”
Ally’s breath caught in her throat and her heart tumbled into a rapid rhythm. “You had feelings for me...like what?”
“Like this.” And he yanked her up against him and kissed her.
She felt the tension vibrating in his body, their clasped hands crushed between them as his hard, hot mouth covered hers. Her head spun and her other hand came up to clutch his big shoulder. She wriggled her hand out of his and wound her arms around his neck and kissed him back, opening her mouth under his, letting his tongue fill her mouth.
Hot liquid settled low in her belly, an empty ache that needed to be filled, and she pressed herself closer. She was still aroused from their earlier kiss.
Her breasts compressed against his hard chest and he slid a hand around to her low back, to rest on the curve of her butt, pulling her into him. She rubbed herself against the hard evidence of his arousal, making him groan.
They broke the kiss and stared at each other with hot, questioning eyes, then Ally closed her eyes and they were kissing again. Jack pressed closer, one big thigh moving between her legs, and she arched into him, head falling back. He kissed her throat, sucked gently, and she trembled with desire and pleasure.
Then he released her and stepped back. He stared at her with wild eyes, chest heaving and she, too, sucked in air.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a raspy voice. He wiped his mouth. “I should not have done that.”
Not again! How could he keep doing this to her, getting her all excited and then pulling the plug. “But you said you had feelings for me...”
“It was five years ago. Things have changed.”
She pressed her fingers to her mouth to stop her swollen lips from trembling, still watching him.
“I just got carried away,” he continued.
“I don’t get it. What’s wrong with us...doing that?”
“It’s Carter.” He paused. “He’s still my friend.”
“I know, but…he doesn’t need to ever know about this.”
“Does that make it okay? Would you have felt that way about him cheating on you? It was okay as long as you didn’t know about it?”
“It’s not the same thing.” She frowned. “It’s not the same thing at all. We’re not cheating on Carter.”
“It’s still a kind of betrayal,” he said, looking like someone was pulling out his fingernails. “It’s how I felt when I found you two together.”
“It’s different,” she insisted.
His eyebrows slanted down, and the corners of his mouth dipped. “How did Carter take it when you broke up?”
Not well. Carter had been furious and it had been ugly. She could never understand why he wanted to stay together when he also apparently wanted to screw every girl he met. But she didn’t want to tell Jack that because it would just prove his point.
“It was a long time ago,” she muttered.
“He could probably handle seeing you with someone else,” Jack continued. “But not with me.”
“I can’t believe you would consider Carter’s feelings over mine.” She just stared at him, blinked a few times, then pulled her hand free of his. She turned and left the room, went up to her room. There, she sank onto the bed. This was getting to be a regular thing, sitting there frustrated, confused, aroused, because of Jack.
She couldn’t get over the idea that Jack had had feelings for her in college. She recalled her own confused emotions at that time, that peculiar longing she’d had and how she’d been so depressed about Jack leaving. Was it because she’d been falling in love with him too?
It wasn’t that crazy. Except he’d disappeared. She stood up and strode determinedly to the door of her room. She was going to tell him that.
Then she leaned her forehead on the door, hand on the knob. Could she handle any more rejection from Jack? This was the second time he’d pulled back. He’d had feelings for her five years ago, but maybe things had changed, like he’d said.
She turned around and paced back to her bed, sat again, her mind whirling with mixed emotions. She still didn’t understand what his misplaced loyalty to Carter was all about. Carter didn’t give a shit who she was with now, she was sure, and probably didn’t care who Jack was with either.

Is this the future of publishing?

The announcement by Harlequin of their new Harlequin Horizons imprint this week sent shock waves throughout the publishing industry that likely registered on the Richter Scale. My initial gut reaction hasn’t changed much after reading a lot of the chat about this in various loops and forums, but I’ve given it some thought, looking to the future.

Apparently Harlequin is not the first publisher to move to an agreement like this with self-publishing companies. As a business decision, I can totally understand why Harlequin would do this. Malle Vallik commented on Smart Bitches that the reason they’ve done this is to offer authors other avenues to get published. Nothing wrong with that. They’re charging a fee, and there may be a market for this service that will make them money. Tons of money (based on the fees on their website). Especially if every author they reject is directed to Horizons.

On the surface, if that’s all it is, I say, fine, let them run their business (buyer beware). I can understand Harlequin authors who are upset by this, although Ms Vallik assured them there will be no association between the two imprints and readers will not confuse Horizons books with traditional Harlequin imprints.

We know the publishing industry is struggling with their outdated and cumbersome business model, especially in this economic climate. The advent of digital publishing has highlighted some of those inefficiencies and change has started to occur. I don’t know enough about the publishing business to be able to suggest solutions to their problems, but I can’t help but wonder if publishers are seeing this kind of venture into vanity publishing as a solution.

In an economic climate that is requiring all businesses to look for efficiencies, this definitely works. Editors/editorial assistants read through piles of queries, rejecting most of them or asking for a few partials to read, then read through piles of partials and reject most of them or ask for a few full manuscripts, read through all of those, passing some up to senior editors but rejecting most of them, then senior editors read them and reject them, with all the back and forth correspondence that happens, or in the case of those they accept, the publishers then spends considerable time editing, designing covers, printing, promoting, etc etc. Harlequin still does all their business by snail mail! That boggles the mind in this day and age! No wonder it takes a year to hear back from them.

In this new model, the author pays for all these costs. It also saves them all the time (and editorial salaries and benefits) of reading through slush piles. They can see which self-published stories do well, and pick those ones up with no risk and little cost.

Malle Vallik also stated: “…if anyone is wondering if this changes anything with Harlequin’s usual editorial processes, the answer is no. We remain committed to reading and acquiring manuscripts from aspiring authors. It’s new voices that set new directions for the future.”

Call me cynical but if I was an editorial assistant or less senior editor at Harlequin, I’d be worried about my job. Looking to the future, I can envision Harlequin reducing editorial staff and picking up fewer books from slush pile submissions, and relying more on the Horizons line to provide their next releases. And it makes me wonder if other publishers will do the same.

Publishers are already reducing editorial staff and are apparently reluctant to take on anything that isn’t “big”. They’re afraid to take risks with new authors, and rumour has it they’re even hesitant to take on proven mid-list authors. This is a way for them to reduce their risk. Let’s face it, every book they decide to publish is a guess. Editors are using their best judgment, but it’s subjective and they’re just guessing. Mistakes are made, and it goes both ways – authors who get huge advances that never get earned out; manuscripts that are rejected and go on to become bestsellers with other publishers; books that you read and say, “how the heck did this get published?” and books with few expectations that go on to sell big numbers. This kind of model would take the guesswork out of it, take the risk out of it, and save publishers a ton of money on one side of the business, while making them money on the other side.

Let’s say one day this becomes the normal new publishing model, where authors who have the money pay get their book published and out there, perhaps connected to a particular publishing house that may or may not decide to offer a contract on that book if it does well. If we’re all playing on that level playing field, I suppose it could work. You would think that the books that are good stories and well-written would in fact rise to the top and sell more – thereby attracting the attention of the publishers. Which in fact is a more accurate way of deciding which books to spend money on publishing and promoting than say, a query letter.

But my goodness, how many sales do vanity-published authors make? My understanding is, the numbers are very low. How do you get your vanity-pubbed book into bookstores to sell, without the backing of a publisher? Most bookstores won’t even consider it. Once again, someone with enough money and knowledge to run a good promotion campaign will come out ahead on this one.

Authors already spend money now to write. I spend money on Internet service, workshops, reference books, membership to various professional associations, my own website and promotion, paper, printer ink, postage. Maybe that extra money will just become another cost of doing business for a writer. I’m not saying I like it, or that it’s right or wrong. Things that have been generally accepted business practices in the past aren’t necessarily the “right” way, and I’m thinking of traditional advances. Most people are now recognizing there are other ways to pay authors.

But in that model, only writers with money would get published. That’s a bit discouraging, isn’t it? What about all the great voices and talents and people with something to say, who may not have that kind of money to spend? What about other artists? Sure, painters have to buy brushes and paints and canvases – do they pay galleries to have exhibitions or sell their work? (I really have no idea, not being that kind of artist). Do musicians pay recording studios to produce their album? (Recognizing that many musicians can now record their own music and put out CD’s and MPs independent of big record labels – kind of like self-publishing, hmm?)

In this kind of model, publishers potentially could make more money from rejecting authors than by actually publishing their books and selling them. That just doesn’t feel right and doesn’t bode well for the quality of the work being put out there. And if that was all there was to choose from – unedited, self-published books - what does that do to the quality of our literary experiences?

If this in fact becomes the new model, how would that affect other stakeholders? What happens to agents? If anyone can pay to have her book published, she doesn’t need an agent. If the publisher decides to offer a contract, the author may need an agent to negotiate terms. Or maybe not. Maybe publishers would move to standard boiler-plate contracts like many digital publisher currently do. In which case, why would anyone need an agent? Or could there be a dual model, where some pursue the vanity publishing avenue and others try to get that contract through an agent as they do now?

What about existing digital publishers? They have built an apparently successful business model based on no large advances and higher royalty percentages. Would they be motivated to move to a similar system, whereby authors pay to be published and associated with their name?

Somehow, in the digital-only world, this doesn’t sound so appealing. Vanity publishers have traditionally focused on print books; if you want to publish a digital book, apparently it’s quite easy these days through various venues (Lulu, Smashwords, even Amazon). So it’s unlikely that digital publishers could make money offering this service. And digital publishers are probably pretty lean already in terms of their business processes. Editors work from home, most of them have “day jobs” as well as their editing work, business is conducted electronically and the publishers aren’t paying for office space, computers, equipment, supplies and the salaries of editors to sit in those offices all day reading the slush pile.

I don't have answers, only a lot of questions, and I don’t know if this is where the publishing industry is going. I have to admit I find it a frightening prospect as both an author and a reader. I think everyone will be watching this venture with great interest.

When self-publishing becomes the only option, only the rich will be able to publish.

And sadly, once the book has been through this vanity printer, first publication rights are used up. So it’s a terrible situation all around: the book doesn’t count as a publishing credit by anyone reputable, but it counts as published when it comes to first publication rights. So it’s a lose-lose for the writer all around.

When publishers can make more money taking cash from aspiring writers than by selling books to the public, writers and readers both suffer. Writers who can’t afford to publish will be lost, or we’ll have to go back to the 18th century model and whore ourselves out to rich “patrons” who might agree to pay for our publishing—not pay us, but pay to produce the books themselves.
Imagine a world where the only books on the shelves are those written by people with enough money to pay to have them published. Very little quality control, no attention paid to whether or not the book is actually worthwhile. How much fun will reading be then?

Let’s not forget that the way most people learn proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling isn’t through school. I mean, we do learn those things at school, but we develop those skills by reading. So you tell me, how literate will we be as a society when there are no professionally written books? When there are no people to judge if a work is even readable or not before it gets published? When anything goes? Would you like to go back to the middle ages, when words were just spelled however they sounded? Because I wouldn’t.

How do you like your coffee?

Today I'm blogging about some of the things I learned about coffee while researching SEXPRESSO NIGHT ( now available from Ellora's Cave) over at Nine Naughty Novelists - come on by!

WHAT I'M READING WEDNESDAY...

I finished The Brightest Star in the Sky by Marian Keyes. She is one of my favourite authors, but this wasn't my favourite book. Lots of characters and I didn't connect with all of them. It took a while to figure out what was going on - okay it took the whole book, and at the end I felt a little let down. There was one hint (that I caught anyway, maybe others whizzed by me) about it and that wasn't even much. At first, I noticed that the days were going backwards, yet the events weren't. I said that to my husband, and my daughter (aka Miss Smartypants) overheard and said, "It's a countdown". Duh. Of course it's a countdown! Then I got all excited about what we were counting down to. All the characters are moving toward the same one point in time, one day, and I did like the ending for some of them but much of it felt very deus ex machina - I mean, come on? A chunk of ice falling out of the sky? Still, a very entertaining Marian read.

Just started Pleasure and Purpose by Megan Hart, another favourite author!

Release Day! SEXPRESSO NIGHT

My second Ellora's Cave book is out today!


After a disastrous D/s relationship nearly destroyed her, Danya swears she’ll never go back to that lifestyle. She tries to deny the dark hunger rising inside her, a craving to be pushed, taken to the edge, until the night she ends up at Karma Coffee for Sexpresso Night. There she discovers how sensual and sexy coffee can be--and how sensual and sexy barista Carter Jarvis is. Carter senses gorgeous Danya wants to let go of control with a man. When they end up back at his place ‘for coffee’ she submits to him so beautifully he knows she’s meant to be his. Carter seems perfect for her–not wishy-washy, but not a sadistic pervert–until he shows her his BDSM playroom.

As always I'm giving away a copy to one of my newsletter subscribers, so if you're not a member, join up now and leave a comment for a chance to win!

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Here's the trailer:

A review for Irish Sex Fairy!

Veiled Secrets Reviews gave Irish Sex Fairy 4 Dragons



“You won't want to miss this book. It's got charm, humor, love and really good sex… a very good story with twists and turns throughout it, amongst the loving.”


http://www.veiledsecretsreviews.com/IrishSexFairy.html

New website!

So if you're a regular visitor to this blog, you probably noticed the change a week or two back - it matches my new website, which is up and running now, and it's so beautiful! I just want to sit and stare at that splash page. Big thanks to Tina Pavlik at Pysche Designs for all her patient help with my lack of tech knowledge!

www.kellyjamieson.com

Extreme Close Up Chapter 19

Why should she care that Jack had found her scrapbook about him? He was her friend. Wasn’t it natural she’d be interested in and proud of what he was doing? Maybe it was a bit much, which perhaps was the embarrassing part.
“I found this.” He looked up at her, his blue eyes full of questions.
“I hadn’t heard from you.” She could hardly speak through her tight throat. “When I came across something you’d done, I kept it.”
“I see that,” he said slowly, turning another page. “This is basically my whole career in here.”
He looked up at her again, and her glance skittered away from his.
He got up off the floor, unfolding his long legs in their faded denim, the scrapbook in his hands.
“You want to tell me why you collected all this stuff about me?” he asked softly.
Her mouth went dry. “Um...it’s no big deal. I was relieved when I saw your name in Newsday, I started keeping an eye out for more of your work.” She gathered the sides of the ridiculous fluffy robe together over her chest.
“Relieved?” One straight brow eyebrow lifted.
Shit. “Well, yes.” She blew out a long breath. “Yes, okay? Relieved. I thought maybe you were dead.”
He frowned.
“Then when I found out where you were, I was even more worried. It’s so dangerous, Jack,” she told him earnestly. “Every time a journalist or a photographer got injured or killed, I worried about you.” She’d thought about him a lot more than that. Damn it.
If it hadn’t been for that crazy, hot kiss earlier, she’d be fine telling him so much more...about how much she’d missed him, how hurt she’d been that he’d left like that, how she worried about him all the time. She’d tell him how much she’d wanted him there to talk to and comfort her like nobody else ever could when she’d been crushed and betrayed by Carter.
But she couldn’t say all those things, because there was still that arc of tension between them, that edge they were both balancing tenuously on.
“You were worried about me?” he murmured, moving closer to her. She backed up, clutching the robe. Her damp hair dripped water and a drop ran down between her breasts. She was surprised it didn’t sizzle, she felt so hot.
“Well, yes. Of course.”
“That’s nice, Ally. At least I know you cared.”
She swallowed. “You were my friend, Jack.”
His brow lifted again. “I was your friend?”
She frowned and put a hand out to stop him from coming closer. She wanted him closer, so, so much, but she was not going to embarrass herself again. “I mean, you are my friend. Of course, you are. Even though you didn’t contact me the whole time you were gone. I know, I know, you and Carter e-mailed all the time.” Christ, she was babbling like a baby but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “And even if Carter didn’t bother to tell me about it, and it’s true that you did e-mail him, it doesn’t really matter. The fact is, you never contacted me.” She jabbed a finger into his hard chest. “We were friends, even before you and Carter were friends. You should have e-mailed me. And you should have told me why you left like that so I didn’t have to hear stupid rumors about you.”
His eyes narrowed and he put up a hand to clasp the one she’d poked him with, keeping her from continuing to jab at him. His warm, lean fingers closed around hers and held them between them, pressed against his chest. “What rumors?”
She sighed. Hell. “Carter told me he’d heard a rumor that the reason you’d left in such a hurry was because you’d gotten another girl pregnant.”
“Whaaat!” Jack’s face was comical, his mouth open, eyebrows up near his hairlie .
She nodded, frowning. “I knew it wasn’t true.” She looked up at him through her lashes, practically begging him to deny it categorically even though she’d never believed it.
“Hell, no, of course it’s not true!” He ran his other hand through his thick, sun streaked hair. “Jesus Christ. Who the hell would start that rumor?” He laughed shortly. “I barely even dated in college, and believe me, when I had sex, I used protection. I learned my lesson the goddamn hard way.”
Um. She’d known how much he had dated. After all, they’d been best friends. But she was disturbed to hear him talk about having sex. She frowned. She wanted so badly to ask who he’d had sex with, but that was a stupid question, none of her business and she was probably better off not knowing.
“I know,” she said. “I told Carter that couldn’t be true.”
“He believed it?” Jack asked incredulously.
She shook her head rapidly. “No, no. Of course not.” She bit her lip. “Although he did say it kind of made sense because you’d done that before.”
There was silence for three heartbeats.
“Fuck him!” Jack burst out. His fingers tightened painfully on her hand. “I may have gotten a girl pregnant, but I never abandoned her!”
“I know, I know,” she soothed him, surprised this conversation had gotten him so riled up. She put her other hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “It doesn’t matter, Jack. I knew it wasn’t true, and Carter did too. And I don’t know who would have started such a crazy rumor, but I don’t think anybody else would have believed it either.”
Jack stared down at her, his blue eyes stormy and flashing. “You want to know the real reason I left?”

Extreme Close Up Chapter 20